Cancer REALLY doesn't know who its messing with......

So I had my Dr. appointment in Philly yesterday....It wasn't good news. I had a feeling that God was preparing me for this, because I just had this feeling it wasn't going to be the best news I wanted to hear. When I heard the nurse say "well, Kristin its not what we wanted to see..." My heart dropped and I just started to cry.....they told me that the chemo that I have been on for only 7 months( but I am still blessed it lasted for at least 7 months...thank you Lord!) is no longer working. This stupid pesky cancer outsmarted it and I now have several more liver lesions and also a lesion by my spine that grew a little bit( I was a bit annoyed because I didn't even know about this bone lesion...so that was a bit by surprise) The thing that sucks is it worked and shrunk for some lesions( my neck and lungs) but not for all of them. My cancer is super dooper weird.....it is such a freakin oddball which makes it even harder to treat.....ughhh this cancer is really pissing me off...I was going to compromise with it and let it live in my body if it stops acting up and growing but now that its being ornery and doing what it wants to do....screw that!!!! This cancer is going to get one hell of a fight...I'll tell you that.....I am a bit down about the news obviously but if anything I am ready to fight it even harder and staying super positive about all of this and most of all have more and more faith.....Hmm....So...have I told you yet how much I HATE this cancer!!! Its starting to bring out the big green hulk inside of me and doesn't realize what/ who its dealing with ;-)

 I have such a wonderful support system though and since my news have had an out pouring of family and friends there to comfort me.....I thank God also that I have my amazing Hubby and Parents with me at my appointments...although I know it is stressful and tense and emotional for all of them as well...it means so much that they are by my side to receive any news that is coming....its nice to all cry, smile, laugh and vent our frustrations to each other...I have to admit other patients probably hate us when we come in because all we do is laugh so hard at each other while we are waiting.....they are little memories that I will always take with me and cherish. The best part of yesterday is when Jon all of a sudden broke the silence and says randomly" So I have a fun fact of the day for all of you...." We all lost it ...my Dad was almost in tears from laughing so hard....we must have all broke out laughing for like 5 minutes.....That's one thing about Jon that is absolutely wonderful...he knows just when to make us all laugh...That is one of the many things that have made me fall soo in love with Jon is  his amazing sense of humor...

On another note, its funny how some people are reacting after this last scan result....this is from people that don't personally  know me or know anything about my actual cancer itself they just know of me and know I am the girl with cancer....but more people are acting like I am just this poor girl dying...which yes I am, we all are...but...I am still alive!! I am still breathing and here just like all of you....I have seen people saying ..." Some ashame, cancer takes people so young" ..... but it hasn't taken me yet....and I'm not saying this to point everyone out or to be a bitch but its funny being the cancer patient and seeing how people react, I get all types of reactions...most people don't know what to say which is completely understandable....a lot of people start saying well you need to completely go on this or that type of food diet and you will be cured.....yes that will help....but my cancer isn't like other cancers...it is genetic...I was born with it already programmed in my system....and no I will not be cured from all these treatments or eating this special food unless God decides for me that He is going to heal me. I just always have to laugh when people who don't really know me sometimes assume things without knowing the full and real story of my cancer journey...and I know its because of being naïve and not really looking at my journey itself but because of all the hype around cancer in general especially in media and other ways. I am always open for questions, comments, advice ....anything ...I just ask you please ask me personally about it and talk to me personally and I will be open and tell you anything you need/want to know...I am ALWAYS open to any type of suggestions for coping, treatment ideas...good advice. Whatever.... BUT never just assume you know somebody's personal cancer journey just because you knew someone going through cancer because there is a whole spectrum of cancer in this world and not one persons journey is the same, please always keep this in mind.......until next time