Let go and Let God......

Something to REALLY think about....

I'm feeling compelled to talk a little bit about how my faith has completely been cemented since being diagnosed and just to talk a little bit about God and how I came to be how I am today.....I am going to be honest....I always believed in God but I never really practiced and lived with complete faith everyday....I was brought up as Catholic and went to church regularly with my family...I felt like going to church was just something you did on Sunday and that was enough, never realizing the real fulfillment in having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.I felt obligated to do it but I never truly got what I feel that I should have been getting out of it. I always felt like something was missing and I wasn't spiritually fulfilled. I feel that some people just go to church to just say they went to church which is sometimes what I felt like I did at times. I realized that having true faith and a true relationship with Jesus Christ means not just being satisfied with going to church Sunday but practicing every single moment and day of  your life and living a true life of meekness and humility. By writing this blog today, I just want to share how much God has blessed my life and changed it around dramatically. I used to conform more to the ways of the world and be a follower. I did what was "in" and couldn't necessarily stand on my own two feet. I was weak. I thought I had to be up on all the new trends and have the latest things or I wasn't good enough. I thought i was invincible and that nothing bad could ever happen to me. Boy was a wrong and I now recently after being diagnosed realized material things and living a life like that in my personal opinion is not the way to live at all. They do nothing but promote greed and selfishness. We unfortunately live in a world where many people only care about themselves and the benefits they get out of material things A LOT of people believe in God but also sadly A LOT of people don't...some people I would love to ask what would you do if everything was taken away from you...would you still be able to live a happy life or do you depend on those things to make you "Happy".... At one point in my life I was also guilty and acted like the way of the world... I try my hardest not to judge people that are materialistic and think that having "stuff" makes the world go round because who am I to judge but I do admit sometimes I want to just shake people and say this isn't what life is about and give them a reality check!!! But then I remember that in the end I can't change people who don't want to change...and that's not up to me anyway... because deep down I know that that at the end I have a wonderful and strong relationship with God and truly am happy now with the way I changed and live my life and people have the choice to live a good life as well...and we will ALL be judged on the day that we die on those choices we make every moment of everyday.
I used to be afraid of death but now since being diagnosed I actually find myself excited to be with God one day and to be healed and my body made whole again...no more pain, suffering...no more cancer... and have Joy and happiness for the rest of eternity. Please DO NOT take from me saying that that I think i'm gonna die soon or that I want to die or something like that because I want to live a happy and long life just like most people wish too but I feel in my heart and soul that when that time comes, weather its sooner or later in life I know I will be 100% ready whenever God takes me home with Him and will have no fear in death itself. Do I fear the possibility of pain in death...absolutely but death itself is nothing to be afraid of if you are right with God. It's the people who aren't that I have true sadness for and I urge all of you who question your relationship with God to really think about that.I'm sure some people read things I write and say "Oh great, another one of those religious people who preach about God ...and that is okay for people to look at me that way...I will never stop preaching about Our Lord.... but if you do find yourself thinking that, then I ask you to  really seach your own soul and ask yourself if YOU are right with God and if YOU are living a life a life that YOU would be proud of and if YOU would die this very moment...would you be happy with how you are treating others and how you are living? If this is even questionable then make that change to be the person you want to be...don't wait till later because we never know when our time is up on this Earth....do it now!

 

People say I am crazy when I say this but I thank God every single day for giving me this cancer and this wake up call in my life....this cancer is such a blessing in disguise and I know it is another one of Gods ways of changing me into the person that he wants me to be. He continues to bless me every day when it comes to this cancer...I am very fortunate...every single time I am scared about something I pray to our Lord and he immediately takes those fears away, he has made my body able to tolerate this chemo very well when I know these are some pretty toxic & powerful drugs that I am on and some people have it way worst with the chemo and through his grace I have very minimal side effects. I feel sooo very lucky and truely blessed that it isn't as bad as I know it truely could be. He has blessed me with the most amazing and wonderful family any body can ask for ,who has been the true definition of what a family should be like and we are unconditionally there for each other and have soo much love for each other...which I know many people don't get to experience. He has brought the most amazing man I have ever met in my entire life who I can call my husband ....and believe me before I took Jon for granted a lot and we had a pretty toxic relationship at times and fought nasty because we were both very different people before and thought we were untouchable ...so I thank God for strengthening our relationship and that I have a man who has such a wonderful relationship with God and who has pulled me closer to Him everyday and makes sure that our relationship with God is always number 1 in our marriage. I think that is why we have been able to get through all the hard times together when normally it could easily rip marriages a part, because we put God first and foremost and wow what a difference that has made....we didn't always do that....and we talk about it today and say wow we lived in such a different way before but thank Our Lord every day that he changed us and made us sooo very strong. Jon has changed my life for the good and has helped me tremendously to be a more humble, patient individual and to be grateful for everything I have in life because unfortunately Jon has had a very difficult life but I admire my husband so much for being the strong person that he is because honestly I don't know if I would be able to have the faith that he does going through what he went through in life....it is just absolutely amazing and he is the strongest person I ever met. So in ending this blog I just want people to really take a moment and think about your life....are you having fears, regrets, sadness, resentment, living selfishly??...I just know that from my personal experience that by turning to God, having COMPLETE faith and letting go of all of that has changed my life...I've had many people ask me  me..."How do you say so strong through this?" My answer is simple. God... I end this blog praying that more people in this world should truly just let go and let God. I can promise you will never ever regret it! Until Next time.....