It is such a gorgeous day today. The sun is shining and the weather is perfect. I love days like this, they make me feel so refreshed and just overall feeling good! Fall is just around the corner and its by far my favorite season. The smell of the crisp air, the mums and fall decorations, the leaves changing to beautiful hues of gold, orange and reds. Also some of the most beautiful sunsets are around this time....and of course can't forget the hoodie weather! :-)
This week is the Ephrata fair. I do admit I love to people watch and I enjoy watching the parade and walking to the fair from my house but the parking is going to be a big old pain! Not much for me, but jon will be coming home from work around the time it gets really busy and unfortunately we have on street parking. Definitely a bit of a downfall but we will work it out!
Things have been going OK as far as new cancer news. Since upping my chemo dose, i have realized taking the 120mg was too much for me. I was getting bad hand\foot syndrome, horrible appetite,nausea, the big "d" and over all not feeling well at all. I began to alternate my doses from 100mg one day and 120mg the next. That seemed to help a bit, still have minor hand foot syndrome, nausea, appetite not great but overall it is more tolerable for me. Since starting chemo I have lost about 60lbs. Its such a mixed emotion for me. It has always been a struggle to lose weight my whole life and don't get me wrong I am feeling better and more confident from the weight loss but the reason for the loss is very scary for me. I wish I could say it was from something else then the chemo. It would be much more gratifying. My mind has been off a bit lately...my short term memory is horrible at times. A few weeks ago I couldn't even remember my one dogs name, that was a little alarming but again thinking its from chemo. I asked Penn about getting possible brain scans to check for cancer mets but they don't think that's necessary at this point. Which is fine, I don't need to worry about another thing right now.
I hope my spreading awareness through my blog and Facebook has maybe helped people realize how very serious thyroid cancer can be. It is nothing to mess with. Life isn't easy at all dealing with it. I have had to think about things I never would have imagined worrying about at 26. I have had innumerable amounts of MRI, CT scans and Dr visits. The amount of viles worth of blood I get drawn monthly ,would be a vampires dream. The waiting games and anxiety waiting to hear from the Drs in Philly if my cancer is stable or progressing. Everyday pains and sickness... Again, it is not at all easy in any way. Then there are some more real and harder things that need to be thought about. The fact of thinking and talking about funeral arrangements with my husband much sooner then ever imagined, the scariness of not knowing what is going to happen to me, if or when this cancer takes a turn for the worse. These things are not talked about too much but still must be discussed and the realization of my future down the line can't be ignored. I try not to think about the possibility of the future too much and just enjoy living my life day for day and breathing in every moment in life. My biggest fears for my future are not for me but for others. Despite all of this though I know everything will be OK. God is holding us all close to his heart tightly and knows what is best for us whether we understand or not at this point. I know I am not alone and never will be. I am very thankful for the life I do have because many others have things much worse. Who am I to complain? God is good and life is precious and beautiful! Please continue to educate yourself on thyroid cancer awareness. It is so very important and please always get a quick neck check if you feel something isn't right, it could very well be a life saver.
until next time my friends...
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